5 Comments

  1. Christina
    June 16, 2015 @ 2:35 pm

    Aloha Vicki. Thanks for the article. My nine year old boy has a similar way of being and felt a call to reach back.

    I am ok with almost everything you said in your very heartfelt story and wish you peace dear sister on this journey.

    However I am not ok with one comment however in reference to the parents who don’t think this label is “real”.

    I think “real” is a relative concept…a Very different experience for many people depending on his/her level of awareness.

    Iwould like to offer a concept for you to consider: my son is NOT ADHD though he sounds almost identical to yours in terms of behavior.

    My understanding for him(although of course this doesn’t mean that its true for all) is that his brain is working at a high capacity that only a computer is truly able to keep up with and our education is actually failing to support his level intelligence and emotional needs for growth.
    HES BORED!!!!!!!!!lol

    In addition, my son is an intuitive who navigates a world that is often filled with electronic frequencies, distractions and frenetics that overwhelm his sensitive nature and “short” his brain, so to speak.

    I am also this type of person and struggled myself with school. I also ended up graduating magma cum lauds from college and became a professional writer.
    I know from personal experience with myself and him that diet IS the absolute most important thing seconded by reduction of
    daily “noise”.

    I know that there are people who choose to medicate instead of adjust their lifestyles and I totally respect that.

    I just wanted to share a different reality with you… Maybe it helps, maybe not.

    I still utilize the info from the add stuff to help manage in a pinch until I get his diet back in control when we deviate from what he needs …

    (btw a TON of protein… Complex proteins especially and oils!!!)
    Our kinds of brains needs a lot of food!!lol
    More than you can shine…haha!

    But really, I think ADHD is a belief. It’s pretty new in terms of the medical world and seems much more geared toward the bandaid fix than addressing root issues of imbalance wothin the individual actual constitution and may even cause more severe long term issues when medicated…and at least, not strengthen the individual like nutrition does.

    Anyway, my ten cents;)
    Much love
    Christina

    Ps feel free to email me if u wanna compare notes:)

    Reply

    • Vicki
      June 16, 2015 @ 9:34 pm

      Hi Christina!
      Thank you for your comments, it is helpful when I hear others understand the struggle. One point in particular you made is in reference to your son’s brain working at a high capacity. This is true for my son as well, and we have gone through all sorts of IQ tests and other tests in order to get him some much needed help at school. Before they would even start the enrichment for him in Kindergarten, it was recommended that we get him tested for ADD/ADHD so that they could rule that out as a factor in his behavior at school. So we did, and in fact, the correlation between ADHD and giftedness is very high.

      This does make it very very tricky for us. We have learned that it is important to really make sure what we are dealing with is something related to ADHD and not the giftedness itself. There are times it is very obvious, such as when he takes standardized tests. He really enjoys taking those and he considers it something fun and challenging at the same time. There was one day when he didn’t take his medication before school on a day they took the test. He was very distracted and discouraged. He was frustrated that he couldn’t finish in time. This wasn’t because he didn’t know the answers, it was because he would get distracted. He took the test a bit later when he WAS on his medicine (same test) and he was able to finish in time, and was still challenged.

      I should have also mentioned that my son is very much a “textbook case” of ADHD, and on the extreme side. On our journey, I have learned that I have similar attention issues as well, but it isn’t something that we ever really addressed for me. My friends, however, would say that they knew for years that I can’t focus on one thing to save my life. 🙂 I have never taken medication for this and if I thought that he would be able to adapt even close to I did (I can’t really say successfully-believe me I have had plenty of struggles and failures) I wouldn’t even put him on medicine for the weekdays. So until we can figure out those tweeks and behavior changes it is our band-aid.

      We do have him on a diet similar to what you mentioned. We rarely have sweets in the house, even their popsicles are the real fruit ones (believe me, I would MUCH rather pay the $5 for a hundred for the cheap ones but it isn’t worth it!), no soda, lots of protein. You did make me think, though, that maybe throwing in one of the kid-friendly protein shakes in the morning is worth a try. Perhaps we just haven’t hit the level he needs.

      I agree that I do not want his medication to be a band-aid for the issues in the long run. This is the primary reason that we do not give it to him on the weekends or during breaks from school. We want him to learn how to manage his struggles and find different solutions. I have talked with his pediatrician at length about where she thinks he will be in the long run, and she is aware of my feelings on medicating him and wanting to find other solutions and she is very receptive to any feedback we offer. Ultimately, though, seeing him so upset every single time he came home from school was worth the band-aid for now. Kids these days have so many more issues than we did, so many more things to struggle through and adapt to. His emotional well-being for the long run was at risk.

      I will email you soon! It would be great to swap war stories and ideas!

      Thanks again,
      Vicki

      Reply

  2. Christina
    June 16, 2015 @ 2:37 pm

    Ps… Starry for the typos;;))

    Reply

  3. Donna L. Hartman
    March 9, 2017 @ 10:59 pm

    I believe you could benefit greatly by contacting my brother, Carl Hartman who live in Loveland ,CO. He deals a lot with ADHD; many in our family have it. One of the situations that happens is that most teachers are not trained on how to deal with ADHD, which is not a negative, ADHD people are the movers and shakers in our world.eg: Walt Disney, Steve Jobs and many more.
    YThe situatoin is that your son would benefit from being in an ADHD learning environment , which is totally different from a “normal” public school classroom. Myself, I have been a public school and private lesson teacher for over 40 years. My brother has opened my eyes to my full potential, and is educating many people and helping ADHD persons to live a happy, adjusted life.

    Reply

  4. Mary G
    April 27, 2017 @ 9:15 pm

    I like your article and I too understand your struggles. I love Christina’s comments too. My daughter was diagnosed with ADD. She was a typical kid with the usual hyper times, always took forever to do stuff, never seems focused and couldn’t pay attention. She also is a very smart kid and was bored in class as well. She tested into advanced classes which did help but her teacher said the same things you both said she couldn’t stay on task, day dreamed, and wasn’t doing as well as she knew she could do. Her doctor had us do the quesionaire and told us to only do research on ADD on certain internet sites he gave us and we should medicate her.
    However, I did research EVERYWHERE. I talked to numerous people, and I wanted to try everything I could first to help, prior to medicine. My niece was already medicated for ADHD and she was always sluggish acting and lost her appetite. I hated seeing her that way but I respect each families choice. It’s a hard choice and we all know what our children and family needs, or at least we pray we are do and are making the right choices.
    I actually started talking to a grandmother at my church that put me in touch with her daughter who has 3 kids all with either ADHD, or ADD, 😳 . She had found a diet through research called “The Feingold diet”. It’s an elimination diet initially devised by Benjamin Feingold, MD. (1899–1982) following research in the 1970s which appeared to link food additives with hyperactivity; by eliminating these additives and various foods the diet was supposed to alleviate the condition. Let me say, THIS REALLY WORKS and was exactly what I was searching for.
    The diet is lengthy to try and it isn’t fun, but it starts the child out on a bland diet and slowly introduces things in. For my child we quickly relized that all the food she was eating was causing her issues (not that she ate bad but it was bad for her). She isn’t just triggered (like parents think) by sugar and caffeine; although high amounts did cause her issues. She’s triggered by all the fake addictives in food and certain foods. Just like my “new friends” kids she couldn’t eat apples, strawberries, or anything with artificial colors or flavors.
    We told her teacher we were trying something and we would touch base after the week to see what she thought. After 1 week of eliminating all the dyes and fake stuff we could see an improvement at home. I’ll never forgot her teachers face when she met with me at the end of the week. She said “I have no idea what your trying but keep it up”. Now my daughter was never disobedient in school but because she didn’t focus that distracted others when the teacher tried to keep her attention. After a month she went from a b-c kid to an a-b kid with her grades. She made more friends, became more outgoing, focused and was easier to deal with at home.
    Now fast forward 8 years, and I now have a junior in high school that’s got a 4.0 gpa. and plans to be a doctor. Wow, if I knew then what I know now I’d have really given that doctor a talking too.
    Is this diet going to work for every kid, No! I do truly believe that there are kids that need medicated for physical or mental things that will improve their livelihood but something as simple as their diet should be the doctors first recommendation to try. I suggest and have, that anyone that has the time, patience, and are willing to try this diet (even if for a summer) to see if it shows you your kids trigger foods if any should.
    Now my daughter knows that she’s rather feel better, than eat junk food. That’s not to say that she doesn’t occasionally still eat a starburst, etc. she just does it fully aware that it may effect her. Therefore so doesn’t do it before a test. Also she loves apples and strawberries, so she eats them in moderation, again not before a test.
    If you’ve never heard of this diet or tried it, I would really recommend it for anyone with a child or an adult that wants to see if certain foods trigger or alter your mental ability to be the best you can be.
    Just my thought though. I’ll pray for all of you parents struggling to make the right choices for your children. It’s definitely hard being a good parent but so worth it.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *