By Vicki Little
Having a daughter is both a beautiful and terrifying thing. My “mini-me” often sneaks into the bathroom when I am getting ready and watches with curious eyes as I put on my make-up. She asks me what each product is for and how I use it. Then much later, I discover my little girl in front of the mirror, pretending to put on make-up, just as I did. Moms play a very special and important role in their little girl’s life. Mom is who they look up to, and it is important to remember that what we teach our girls is what they will carry with them through life. Here are 4 things girls learn from their moms:
1) True beauty. When she is little, she copies you and wipes a brush over her tiny nose and cheeks. When she is older, she uses your trick of cream blush. Teach her that true beauty is found on the inside, and it radiates outward based on how she treats others and takes care of herself. As you get ready for date night, talk with her about how looking extra pretty makes you feel good as well — it isn’t just for her daddy. Make sure she knows that all the beauty products in the world won’t cover up a mean heart, but a kind smile or a gentle word can make anyone beautiful. Just look at Fiona in “Shrek.”
2) Gossip. Those little ears have some fantastic hearing! They hear you give your friends a compliment. They hear (and ignore) when you tell them to clean their room. They hear when you and your husband fight, and they also hear when you talk badly about someone. They will not see anything wrong with saying hurtful things behind their friends’ backs if they know you do it as well. Teach by example that it is not OK to participate in gossip — either by spreading it or listening to it.
3) Friendship. Everyone has a different approach to friendships. Some people like to have many best friends, and some prefer to have just one best friend and many other friends. How you value your friendships through your actions and words will show them how important and comforting friends can be. Being there for your friends when they need you, celebrating their life with them, and remembering their important days shows your daughter that you value those relationships in your life. It also will show her how to treat her friends.
4) How to be treated. Your daughter internalizes all the different interactions that you have. She notices when your significant other appreciates you or tells you that you look nice. On the other hand, she also will notice if someone is mean or hurtful to you — and she will watch how you react to this. This isn’t to say that you should scream and hit everyone who disrespects you, but finding a way to stand up for yourself in a calm and effective manner will make a positive impact. Don’t be afraid to talk with your daughter after a particularly grueling interaction. She will notice you are upset, and it is a good time to tell her that you do not appreciate how that person treated you. Emphasize that their words and impressions of you do not change the way you feel about yourself. Their unkind actions do not change the wonderful person you are.
Vicki Little is a work-at-home mom with two young kids. A Colorado native, she is the Publisher and Editor of Macaroni Kid Aurora and Downtown Denver. When she isn’t writing or trying to keep up with her kids she can be found volunteering, reading, or enjoying a bottle of wine with friends.
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September 3, 2015 @ 10:29 pm
I think this is so special !
September 15, 2015 @ 11:01 am
And women who cheat on their husbands, do little girls also take this example from their mothers?
September 16, 2015 @ 10:25 am
As unfortunate as this is, it does happen. I certainly don’t have any qualified advice. Hopefully the parents are able to avoid their children from finding out that it did, as little kids have enough on their plates without adult problems being added in. However it can also be a great lesson on the possibility of forgiveness and that marriage is not always easy, there are plenty of ups and downs. It isn’t something to be rushed into, and it takes work. It is also another reason to teach our children from a young age that relationships are fragile and valuable and need so much love, care, and attention from both people.
I truly hope this did not happen to you, and am so sorry if it did.